Behind the Scenes of a Deep Dive Manuscript Evaluation

The 7 layers of analysis I use to edit a fourth draft of a novel.

I don’t know about you, but right now, my schedule is full. My days are packed with editing. I have several manuscripts I’m absolutely loving on my desk right now, so many pages to read, and so many notes to share with writers.

With all this editing, I didn’t have time to put together a typical episode of Your Next Draft for you. So . . . I’m doing something a little different today.

I’ve decided to pull back the curtain on the editing I’m doing right now, this week, on the manuscript I’m currently reading.

In this episode, you’ll get a glimpse of how I think about a manuscript as I edit it. You’ll see:

• The 7 (yes, 7!) levels of analysis I’m applying as I read
• The stage of the editing process this manuscript is in
• How I know what levels of editing are right for this manuscript at this stage
• The things I’m not editing in this manuscript right now
• That I really, really, really love editing (so much that I peaked on the mic a few times as I recorded. Sorry!)
• And more!

If you’ve ever wondered what a developmental editor is thinking when they’re editing a novel . . .

. . . well, this is it. These are my thoughts, almost in-the-moment, as I edit a manuscript I’m loving.

Huge shoutout to author J. D. Edwin, whose manuscript this episode is about, and who gave me the all clear to share a glimpse at our process together. She’ll be delighted if you check out her books at jdedwin.com.

They’re really good books. (Yes, I’m a bit biased, because I edited them. But still. They’re really good.)

Links mentioned in the episode:

• Check out J. D. Edwin’s books: jdedwin.com
• Listen to J. D. talk about her editing process: How to Create an Editing Process That Works for You With Author JD Edwin
• See whether I’m the right editor for your novel: alicesudlow.com/wishlist
• Reach out and let’s talk editing your novel: alicesudlow.com/contact

Transcript

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I love reading stories when I've got all these layers of analysis bouncing around in my head in every scene I'm asking, what's working. What still needs some review. What kind of review does it need? Which of these layers is great and needs no addressing. And which of these layers is the one that we need to make this scene really, really sharp. I cannot emphasize enough. For me as an editor, this kind of thinking is an absolute delight. Welcome to your next draft. I am super busy with editing right now. I've got several books on deck and I've been doing some deep dives into scenes and acts and full manuscripts. And it's a ton of fun. I am loving every minute. This is where I thrive. I mean, okay. Here's a little story when I was in high school and in college and I was just dreaming about the day when I would finally be an editor. I had this picture in my head of me at my desk working on a manuscript and I would finish working on one manuscript for the moment and I would pick it up and I would move it to the side of my desk to make room for the next manuscript that I was working on. And that was like my picture of what editorial success was. It was such a little moment in. In my imagination, but for me as an aspiring editor for so many years, I just had this dream of having so many manuscripts that I was working on, that I would have to pick one up and I'd have to move it to the side, to make space for the next manuscript I was working on. And every time that I actually get to do that in real life. Now it feels like this really special moment for little Alice. And I have gotten to do that multiple times in the last week, which is always an absolute delight. Like it just never gets old. I don't know if I have said this lately or not, but just in case you forgotten. I love editing. Like this is an absolute dream for me to be swimming in manuscripts. It's amazing. It's a joy. I can't imagine anything better. And also this very full editing schedule. Means that I have had less time than usual this week to create an episode of your next draft for you. I just really am so swamped with manuscripts that I don't have time to write podcast scripts. So. This week. I've got something a little different for you. I figured out a solution here, and I think you're going to like it. Normally, I like to give you tips and strategies that you can use to developments. We edit your novel as well as advice on what to expect when you're working with an editor. But it takes a good bit of time to develop and think through and plan out those episodes with those step-by-step tips and takeaways. I love doing it, but I just really don't have time this week. So here's my solution. Rather than trying to create space for that kind of content. I have decided to give you a glimpse into what I am already doing. I'm just going to pull back the curtain and show you what I'm doing this week in my editing. I'm going to talk about the project that I am working on right now. And I'm going to talk about how I'm thinking about the feedback that I'm giving this writer. So right now I'm working with author JD Edwin on her upcoming novel. You might recognize her name because she's been on the podcast before talking about her editing process. She's the author of the Headspace trilogy, which is a fantastic Saifai first contact adventure. If you liked the TV show, squid game, and you thought, man, the only thing that could make this better as if it had aliens, then you will love Headspace. You can find Headspace and all of Jed's books on her website@jdedwin.com. And you can find my podcast interview with her at Alice Sobo. Dot com slash 35, or you can find both those links in the show notes. Now. I'm not going to tell you what JD Edwin's next book is about. And I'm not going to share with you the specific changes that we're exploring together for her next draft. That's not the point of this episode. You don't need that much insight into her editing process. At least you don't need it from me. That's the kind of stuff that she gets to decide when and how to share. But she did give me permission to share with you the kinds of things that I'm thinking about as I go through her story. Essentially in this episode, I'm going to tell you about the layers of analysis that I'm running on this manuscript. As I do this developmental edit. What I want to share with you is what I'm thinking about and keeping in mind, as I read and edit this manuscript, the layers of analysis that I'm running as I do this developmental edit. If you're self editing, a draft of your novel, these are the layers that you can consider using to evaluate your own manuscript. And if you have a manuscript, that's at roughly the same stage in the editing process as JDS manuscripts. And you're wondering what a developmental editor would do if they looked at it. Well, this is your peek behind the curtain to see how I would think about your story. So that's what I've got for you today. A little glimpse into what I'm editing right now, so you can see how it developmental editor thinks about a story. Also, I feel like I'm talking super fast right now, which is mostly because. This kind of stuff really fires me up. Like I've been thinking about this all day. I have just been. Needy neck, deep underwater in all of these thoughts about story all day long, you're getting fresh off the top. Editing stuff, editing ideas straight from the stores right after I created them. And I'm very, very excited about them. So if I'm talking fast all the way through this episode, I apologize. I had a lot to say to JB earlier today when I got on a call with her, I felt like I was talking really fast there. I was going a mile a minute because I had so many ideas and you're getting that same energy as I talk about her editing now. So I hope you enjoy it because I absolutely love this. It's so much fun. I cannot overstate that. It's just the best. So here's what I've got for you. Here's the plan for the episode. First step. I'm going to try to slow down. Second up. I want to share with you some basic information about JTS manuscripts and where it stands in the editing process. I have chosen what to analyze in this manuscript based on where it stands in the editing process. So it's really important for you to know where in the process for manuscript is before I get into the layers of analysis themselves. and then once you know where the manuscripts stands, I'm going to tell you what I'm analyzing in it. I'm going to list out all the layers of analysis that I am doing as I go through it. Now I did run some excerpts of this episode by JD Edwin, before I recorded them. And I asked her if she would like me to mention her name. And she said yes, and to give her books a shout out. So I'm going to share a lot of details about the stage of editing that her manuscript is in Because she gave me the permission to share that. And if you enjoy this and you appreciate J D being willing to make this bit of her writing public. Then a great way to think her. Would be to take a look at her books. She would absolutely love it. If you head to JD edwin.com and check out her writing. And if it looks like your stories are up your alley, then pick up a copy. And there you go. That's our plan for this episode first where her manuscripts stands right now. And second, what I'm analyzing as I go through it. Let's dive in. First up the stage of this manuscript. Here's what you need to know. JD Edwin and I have worked together for several years. She's written and published several books and her books are so much fun. I want to point that out because she is a seasoned author who knows how to tell a good story. When I work with writers who are very new to writing, who are working on their very first novels. I do a lot of teaching as we edit together, which I also love. Like I love helping people learn how to write great stories, but JD Edwin is not new. She's done years of learning and study and honing her craft. So when we edit, it's not about teaching it's about refining. The next thing you need to know is that the manuscripts that I'm reading right now is not the first time that I have worked on this story with her. Earlier this year, she sent me a plot treatment of the first draft. Basically, she wrote a first draft. And then she distilled that draft into a really detailed 20 something page summary of the book. And she sent that to me for feedback. If you want to hear more about plot treatments and how she uses them in her editing process, she talks about that in my interview with her. So I highly recommend checking that out. Alice said though.com/ 35. Now, when we worked on that plot summary together. We focused heavily on the big picture story structure of the novel. I wanted to make sure that all the acts were structured well, that the climax was aligned with the inciting incident, that the all is lost moment was in there, that the characters arcs of transformation were really baked into the story. All that good structural stuff. Then JD took all that feedback and she wrote three more drafts to the story, getting alpha reader feedback after each new draft, until she hit a point where she had done everything. She knew how to do with the book and was ready to send it on to me. That's the way that she likes to work. She wants to take it as far as she can, before she pays for editing. She's like, if I'm going to pay for editing, I'll get the most bang for my buck. So I'm going to make this manuscript the best it can possibly be. And then I'm going to make Alice work for her money. Every single penny, she's got to find all the faults in this manuscript and I'm going to make it hard because it's going to be really good when it gets to her. I love it. It's so much fun. So. The version that I am working on right now is a draft for it has already gone through an in-depth structural revision. And it is the most polished version that an established author could produce after three more drafts. I say all this, because I want to make this very clear. The way that I'm thinking about this manuscript is not the same way that I think about a first draft from a new writer. This is not where I start with a writer when a new client reaches out in my inbox, all of the same story principles and all of the same editing tools still apply at every stage of writing. Like there's going to be a lot of stuff in this episode. That's going to sound familiar to you. If you've been listening to your next draft. But I'm focusing on different priorities, Frey polished fourth draft. From an established author than I am for a very fresh first draft from a new writer. And now that we know what stage of the editing process we're in. Now we get to the good part. The types of things that I'm editing for as I go through the manuscript. I have listed out seven layers of analysis that I'm running simultaneously as I go through this manuscript. Yes, seven layers are running through my head. Here's what's in my mind, as I read. Layer one. Story structure. This is going to be familiar. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while. You know that I am a huge fan of story structure. I have so many episodes on story structure and the tools that I share in those episodes are the same tools that I'm using here. I'm thinking about the six elements of story all the time. I'm double checking whether they're working in the arc of the whole novel and in the arc of every act. I've got them in the back of my mind on the scene level two, Although we have another round of editing plan for the next draft after this one. So I know that if there's something that we don't get to on the scene level here, we'll have another draft to catch it. So the six elements of story on the scene level is on my mind, but it's not the top priority necessarily. I'm not double checking in every scene to make sure that the six elements of story, our presence in each one. Another structural thing that I'm thinking about though, is genre conventions. I haven't talked about this much on the podcast yet, but you can actually study the conventions and obligatory scenes of various genres. So I know the genres that this manuscript fits in and I'm evaluating it to see if all of those conventions and obligatory scenes are present. Remember. This is a draft four and JD and I already did structural revisions after draft one. So I'm not trying to break down and rebuild the story here. That's often what I do with first drafts for new writers is That kind of structural rebuild, and that is not what we're doing in this draft. That's not relevant here. We've already done that structural fix. In this draft, I'm double checking that all of the changes that we made after draft one are working and that there aren't any outstanding structural problems that we still need to address, or that we maybe couldn't catch when we didn't have all the details. So that's the first layer on my mind. Here's layer two. Character wants and needs. This is another core element that JD and I discussed after the first draft, the way that it worked then was we got all the information that we could about character wants and needs based on what we knew of the story so far. Then JD wrote three more drafts. So now we know a lot more about those characters. In this draft I'm tracking character wants and needs for the core cast, especially the protagonist. I'm looking to see whether their goals make sense, whether those goals are clear and specific enough, and whether those goals logically drive the whole plot. So that's layer two. Well, your three. Character motivations and arcs. This is similar to those character wants and needs, but it's digging even deeper. When I'm thinking about motivations and arcs, I'm thinking about the emotional journey that the protagonist and any core side characters go through over the course of the whole story. I'm also thinking about their inner arch of change, growth and transformation. What this looks like in practice is reading and rereading key scenes, and then digging under the surface to figure out what's going on emotionally in those scenes. Do the characters, emotional reactions make sense. Do they track with the larger emotional arc of the whole story? And if so, can we intensify those reactions and make them even bigger? So that's layer three. Layer for raising the stakes. This is one of my favorite things to do in a leader draft of a novel. I love to go scene by scene and look for ways that we can raise the stakes. In order to do this at this level, Which is to say, in order to go in and make a bunch of little changes within scenes To raise the stakes in those scenes. The overall structure of the story must be in place. First. We've got to get the stakes of the story as a whole, right. And we've got to get solid story structure in place on the macro level. Otherwise making adjustments within individual scenes won't do much. It might make one seem more exciting, but we still don't have confirmation that that scene really fits in the story. If we don't have that macro story structure nailed down. So you've really got to get that story structured. Nailed down first. But a draft four of a novel that has already gone through robust structural revisions is the perfect time to go in and raise the stakes scene by scene. I can so easily visualize this process. Let me see if I can describe it for you. Imagine that you have a pegboard with lots of pegs, you put a rubber band around a peg on the left, and then you stretch it over to a peg on the far. Right. And then, so you've got this line is rubber band in a straight line. And now you want to create ups and downs. Like a graph. So you pinch the rubber band all along that line and you pull it up in some places in, down in others and you hook it over the pegs on the pegboard. So you have this wavy line, like a graph. All of that is the original structural edit, creating that wavy graph. Now that we know that the ups and downs are in the right places, that the ups go up where they need to go up and the downs go down where they need to go down. Our next task in this kind of edit is to make those ups and downs more intense. I'm looking for the scenes with the highest ups and I'm pinching the rubber band and stretching it one peg higher on the pegboard. And I'm looking for the scenes with the lowest downs and I'm stretching that rubber band one peg down on the pegboard. So we go from a rubber band with this little wave. To a rubber band with these giant peaks and valleys. That's how I imagine raising the stakes in the story. That's the visualization that I have in mind as I'm going through the story and poking and prodding all these scenes to get the stakes a little bit higher in each one. It is a super fun part of the editing process for me. But then again, the whole thing is really fun. Part of the editing process. I don't know if you're picking up on this from this episode, but I really, really enjoy this. So that's layer four. Layer five. The flow of time. The fifth thing that I'm thinking about as I go through this manuscript is the flow of time. How much time has passed. How much time has passed in a scene where a character is driving from one location to another. How much time has passed in a chapter where a character has attended several events. Are those events one day after the next tour, do they have a week between them or a month between them? How much time is passing? How much time has passed and an act where several life milestones have occurred. Have they occurred in the space of a month or have they occurred in the space of two years? I often find that writers have an intuitive. Writer brain sort of sense of time passing. Like it's clear to you how long it's been between one event in your story and another, you know, very well as you're going through, it's clear to you that a month has passed since the last chapter and a year has passed since the start of the book. But unless you put in very clear markers of time, all the way through the book. It will not be clear to the reader. I honestly did not realize how big of a deal this was until I started reading manuscripts that don't have clear markers of time. It is not something that you notice very much in the published books that you read, because it's kind of like the dialogue tag said, it just sort of fades into the back of the reader's brain without drawing attention to itself. But trust me. If time markers are missing. It's a big deal. Again, This is the kind of thing that doesn't matter very much. If the story structure isn't set. So I don't worry about this at all. When I'm reading first drafts, unless there's something extremely wonky happening with time. But a fourth draft is a great time to go through the story and make sure that as time passes for the characters, the reader knows how that time is passing and can feel it passing along with them. Even something as simple as it being cold outside in the winter. And then later it's warm outside in the summer are really subtle clues that you can use to indicate to the reader on an almost unconscious level, how much time has passed. So that's what your five. Do we understand how time is passing in this story? But your six. My subjective experience as a reader. This six layer is purely subjective. And honestly that makes it the most fun. Although, as you've heard, it's had stiff competition with all the other layers. This layer is what is my experience like as a reader, reading this book. As I read my head is spinning with all of this analysis. I'm thinking about all those layers that I've mentioned so far, I'm consciously bringing them up to analyze in every scene. This is a very slow and thought intensive reading process. It is not the way that I read a book that I just checked out at the library for fun. But at the same time, I am also experiencing the story as a reader. That's still a very real part of my experience. It does not go away. I think a lot of people get really nervous that if they get into deep analysis of story, they will lose the joy of reading. Just that pure experience of. The emotional journey of a story. For me personally, I have not found that to be true. I just have more layers that I get to appreciate a story on now. So for me, this is only additive. I only gain more ways to enjoy stories. And this like personal experience of reading a story that just pure enjoyment all the way through. That's a really important layer of analysis to bring. This is one of the reasons why I am selective about the books that I work with. And I seek out books that I know are a fit for my interests as a reader, you can actually find my manuscript wishlist on my website. I've put it up there so that you can see what I love to read and what I love to edit. And you can see whether your story is a good fit for the kinds of things that I edit. Or whether I, as an editor, I'm a good fit for the story that you're writing. Have you go to Alice sedler.com/wishlist. You'll find a full page on my site about what I love to read and edit. The thing is. If I am interested in a book and I'm excited to read it. I am automatically going to be more energized and focused. Plus if I am within or I'm similar to the writers, ideal reader demographic, then I will be able to give them reader insight about my experience as a reader. Like I got on the call and I was like, Hey, look, I am your ideal reader. I loved this book. I had a great time because I am exactly the kind of person you're writing this book for. So as I read, I'm paying attention to my own emotional experience as I go through the story. I'm thinking about. What in the book is fast. What's slow. What's exciting. What's boring. What makes sense? Where do I have questions? What feels SUNY in a romance or exciting and an action story or scary in a horror story. Where am I turning pages and staying up too late to read because I just can't put it down. To be clear. I am not a beta reader and I'm not performing the work of a beta reader here. It is absolutely valuable to share a leader draft with a large group of readers in your target audience to get pure reader feedback. Just exactly how your readers are responding to your book. So this isn't the number one thing that I'm watching for as I read through the manuscript. But it is something that I'm paying attention to and making note of, does this book move me The way that the author wants to move me. So that's layer six. There's just one layer left. Layer seven. Continuity. This layer is all about the details. I character is sitting down and then they're opening a door. Did they stand up and walk to the door? A character has a dog, and then later they have a cat. Is that the same pet and we just forgot whether they're a cat or a dog person, or do they have a dog and a cat? Of all those layers. This one is the least important to me at this stage of the editing process. I'm really not doing a deep, careful comb through the manuscripts to look specifically for any continuity errors. But occasionally I'll notice something that's in this continuity realm And because in this kind of an edit, I'm taking really detailed notes about every chapter. Anyway, I go ahead and throw anything that I noticed on the continuity realm onto my list. It's not my focus, but if I spot it, I'll point it out. And that my friends is the final layer of analysis that is layer seven of seven. Here's a recap of all those layers. One. Story structure. Two. Character wants and needs. Three. Character motivations and arcs. For. Raising the stakes. Five. The flow of time. Six. My personal subjective reader experience. And seven. Continuity. It's a lot. And it is so, so fun. I love reading stories when I've got all these layers of analysis bouncing around in my head in every scene I'm asking, what's working. What still needs some review. What kind of review does it need? Which of these layers is great and needs no addressing. And which of these layers is the one that we need to make this scene really, really sharp. I cannot emphasize enough. For me as an editor, this kind of thinking is an absolute delight. This is why I got into editing because I was already thinking about stories with this kind of analytical mindset. Like when I checked a book out of the library or go watch a movie with friends, I'm super fun to watch movies with because I just do this in my daily life. And I wanted to do this even more at the stage in the writing process where I could actually share my feedback and help writers make their stories even better. It doesn't really matter if I have critiques of a Marvel movie, Marvel does not care, but if I could work with writers who are still in the process, I could share my feedback at a time when they could do something with it. Now I am very, very aware that not everyone likes thinking about stories like this and that is okay. I do believe that it is to your benefit to learn the skills of self editing. Your writing skills and your storytelling will only improve as you get better and better at spotting your strengths and weaknesses and understanding how to fix them. But I also believe that there is absolutely a place for editors in the writing process. There's a point in your process where you've just done all that you can, and you just hit a wall and you can't see what your story needs anymore. There's a point in your process where you've studied a bunch of story structure, but Hey, is there something you're missing? You don't know, but if you pass your story off to an expert, You can get the exact advice that you need. Which is all to say, I'm sharing all these layers of analysis in the hopes of inspiring you, not scaring you. I hope that it inspires you to see the kinds of things that you can focus on as you edit a leader draft of your novel. And I hope it inspires you to see the kinds of things that it's developmental editor can help you refine as you send you an awful lot for feedback. Now, if this kind of feedback is exciting for you, and you'd like my help analyzing your manuscript through all of these layers. I would love to dig into your story too. Whenever you're ready to call an editor, head over to my website and reach out. Started Alice southern.com/wishlist. And see if I'm a good fit for your story. And then go to Alice sibo.com/contact. And send me an email to tell me about your book. And of course I highly encourage you to check out author JD, Edwin to she's been so generous. So let me share a peek at her story with you here on the podcast. Also, I love her books and I think that you're going to love them too. I mean, I am a little bit biased because I did edit them. But I think you should go check them out. But that's just my opinion here. I think it's going to be worth your time. Go to JD edwin.com to find her and all her books Or check the show notes for the link. One more thing before you go. I would love to hear from you and see what you think about this episode. It's a little bit different from my usual content. Did you enjoy this peak at what I'm thinking about this week? As I added a manuscript, is this something that you would like more of? I love the work that I do as I think you can probably tell. And I love talking about the work that I do, which you can probably tell here too. So, if you would like to hear more of this, I would love to share it with you. Like this is just my delight and my friends get bored when I talk about this. So send me an email@aliceatalicesouthern.com. And let me know what you think. And that is everything I've got for you. Be sure to check out JD Edwin's books@jbedwin.com. And I'll see you back here next week with a new episode. Until then happy editing.